one two three fourrrrnication!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
