and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
