I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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