Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
