Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
