OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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