dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
