im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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