Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
