i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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