Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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