i jhust puked up my retainher.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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