Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
