wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
