dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
