she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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