Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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