your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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