Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
