dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Houston, we have a squirter
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
