dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
