Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
