I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
