hell yes lets make some ravioli
just tell him i said nine months
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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