just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
