Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Houston, we have a squirter
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Are we still banned from the library?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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