did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
