ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
