I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
