a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So squirting runs in the family.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
