Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
