i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
