the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
