Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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