Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
