I smell stomach acid.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
