Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
