bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
