okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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