it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
