Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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