Pappa wants mamma naked
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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