Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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