Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
