kristin has been a bad kristin
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
