no, he came in my armpit
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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