i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize