I want to walk on stilts...naked
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
