Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
