the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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