I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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