i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize