I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
