Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
