I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
