you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
