whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
