Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
