Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize