she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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