Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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